strange brew

I think either rootbeer or onion rings gives me weird dreams. Or else sleeping too much lauches me into too many REM cycles (they become longer and more frequent as a night's sleep progresses). In any case, I have had several remarkable and memorable dreams during this week of vacation and sleeping-in.

This morning, for example, I dreamed I was swimming with some dogs in a lovely warm ocean with lily pads. Anyway, they got tired of swimming, so we headed for shore. At some point, the water changed from salt to fresh, and then we arrived all at shore. The dogs were all tired from so much swimming, but I was just fine. That's it. so boring but still I remembered it.

And then I had another dream where I was a school principal, and three teen girls were sent to the office for fighting. But when I questioned them why they were fighting, they had no reason. It seemed like it was all really minor disagreements that had excalated ridiculously. Not unrealistic. What's interesting about this dream is that in my dream I wondered how much teen girl angst is directly related to a growing awareness of the real injustice and corruption in the world. I was still wondering when I woke up.

It's something I've been thinking about lately... things I knew, when I learned them. Last night out with some gals, we were discussing first periods, myths that girls have and share and struggle against in relation to sexual health and so on. It's hard to remember a time when I didn't know the stuff I know now, but still I do remember feeling the embarrassment of not knowing things the other girls know. Or thought they knew, anyway. Some of the "facts" that were tossed around... you can't get pregnant if your clothes are still on; you can't get pregnant the first time; you can "wash away" STDs and pregnancy by showering after sex. And how many girls are totally unprepared for their first period, and so think they are dying when they see the blood.

But all that teenage girl non-knowledge got me thinking about childhood and adolescence in general. I remember saying smart things to my parents only to be laughed at or called cute for my words. It gives you a horrible paranoia that there is something vital that everyone else knows and understands and you don't. I hated my ignorance - still do when it jumps in front of me like the elephant it is. Most times I have the elephant well trained: even when I can't forget that it's following me around, I can prevent it from jumping in front of me and doing a wild dance for everyone to see. What an ugly dance it does.

There is a flip-side to the coin - lack of knowledge is an opportunity for learning. There is a saying, "a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing." Teenage girls are just growing into the awareness of a world that doesn't let them do the things they imagined as young girls. I think they become aware both of some of the real unfairness in the world, and they're sort of trapped between disbelief and helplessness. a tricky place to be. basically, at this point, you should just read the book Reviving Ophelia. It's great.

hmm.. this is not terribly cohesive. perhaps I should edit my posts. :P

unrelated: it is cherry season - YUM! and.... my newly restrung guitar popped a string yesterday. :( so I gotta take it back. they clipped the end too short and it slipped right out.