here's something you might not expect: I shut down when something challenges me too much. It's not like I haven't had a lot of challenges in life - I ought to have good coping strategies by now. Instead, when I am over-challenged, I simply don't cope. I shut down. usually I can't stop processing. I process things for years. I can't leave them alone. But challenge me too much and all processing ceases. abruptly. panic. like an overloaded computer, I crash.
now you know.
but don't worry. I bounce back. the reason I mention this is because I totally fucked up my presentation today. it was horrendous. I turned the colour of a red smartie. it was the nightmare that you might have had before grade 5 speeches. except I wasn't naked. thank god for small mercies.
my fam is coming to see me tomorrow. I'm excited because it's the first place of mine that my mom will see since I graduated from teacher's college. and I'll see my sister and brother in law who live just north of nowhere and whom I won't see again until... uh... next year this time.
I think it's good I screwed up today. I mean who really cares? It's just a dumb class that obviously I will pass and get my credentials and then it will be done. why to get worked up over nothing, you beckless silly person!
In the style of yelsel, I dedicate these few lyrics to my failed presentation:
I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me
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4 comments:
haha.. I only just realized now after posting that those lyrics are by BECK. it's destiny. or fate. or some weird agreement of the universe.
oh beck, you are not a loser. but i agree, the irony is priceless. i'm really happy for your that your family is coming to visit today. i hope they like your hair ;)
again sorry about your presentation. love you!
thanks les. :)
I should really take the philosophic grad-student-in-english stance and just appreciate the irony. how many moments in life really live up to fiction?
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