skinny fat in paris

I cleaned my apartment today. moved furniture, swept, mopped, scrubbed walls and doors. feels good to be in a clean place. I hope the dogs won't mind sleeping outside tonight... I just don't want any dog-dirt in my freshly cleaned apartment.

so. many of you know I'm flinging right now. I have to say, I am enjoying this fling more than any relationship thus far. lots of romance... walks by the lake after dark, fancy dinners out, stolen kisses and little compliments. not smarmy or smooth-talking though. it's just... well this is corny, but it's like some old movie. obviously without the orchestra backup. haha

I'm glad I decided to go with it, even though it's a fling and I may live to wish I hadn't started. if nothing else, it's distracting me from my fears and worries about this coming year. it's strange though: we are both making plans and big changes for the future, and we obviously won't be together in that future, yet we're spending the choices-time together. it is unusual to spend the transition period with someone who won't be there when the transition is complete. sort of like working yourself out of a job. we'll get each other through this next month, and when we're both birthed into September, we'll each be only a memory to the other. now it sounds like I'm romanticizing this... maybe I am... starlight and flashing distant lightning will turn any rational woman into a sentimental girl.

I don't know what advice I would give myself if I was my friend instead of me. Not that I'm asking for advice right now... I'm sure if I want to know what's best in this case.