le salmonella

i baked three pies today:

one lemon meringue,
one french silk (chocolate),
one apple.

what is it with the french and their passion for everything deadly? for example: french silk pie has almost a cup of butter, a cup of sugar, a bunch of chocolate and three raw eggs! whoever heard of such excess? and the french also luuuurve their cigarettes (hand-rolled, no filter), wine (every day!), the sun, and driving like maniacs (a death lane?! HELLO!). but who knows... maybe it's "french" silk pie in the fashion of "french" fries. fucking french fatalists. yea yea, i know... portion control and european engineering. whatever. they still have leathery skin. and their metro stations smell like stale cigarette smoke, urine and B.O.

i lurve the french. haha

i baked the pie trifecta (you know, i just realized i don't really know what trifecta means) because our supper tonight is going to be huge. usually we have 8 people, tonight it's 18. i hope i do get at least a sliver of each... after all my hard work. i'm really starting to get the hang of pastry, which is exciting. pastry has been challenging to me for a long time.

i'm a little bit nervous because i left the apple pie (still warm) at the house where tonight's dinner is, and the guy who lives there loves the movie American Pie. I really really hope I don't get there tonight to find the pie destroyed and the excuse "we ate it."

hmm... interesting. i just did a quick check on the meaning of trifecta. it has nothing to do with anything pie-related. rather it is a kind of bet on a horse race where you have to pick the top three finishers. but it's the bet, not the group of top-three. this has got to be one of the most misused words out there! right up there with "irregardless," which isn't even a word, and the phrase, "i could care less," which is just stupid since not being able to care less than you do is what gives the original phrase any meaning at all. Sorry if you use those words. I still love you. But I probably do cringe internally every time you use them.

i wish we had a greenhouse or a kind of glass-bubble house here. then i could go in there in this lovely sunshine, and it would hold the heat, and i could pretend that i'm really warm for the first time since August. It's funny... put all together, my time in the isolated northern dry communities has made me a sun-worshiping alcoholic social freak. I guess that's what you call flooding.

There, Lesley. I hope this incredibly long post makes up for cheaping out yesterday.

PS check out A Softer World. it's awesome this week.