real genius

OK. I did my first real yoga class today - no more ashtanga prep, i did the full-on ashtanga 1. granted, there were three poses at the end of the series that i did not know, so i sat and watched everybody else's thigh muscles shaking and did the breathing. i have to say... it would be very easy to get totally hooked on yoga. i love the rhythm of breathing and entering and exiting the poses, and how minor variations on the pose make a big difference in how it feels. who would think that the feeling of placing flat hands on the ground would be so different from the feeling of only fingertips?

i've been thinking about this lately: living in my body. when i was younger and deeply involved in bible and study and introspection, i think i carried careless attitudes about my body, placing it at the bottom of the mind-body-spirit triad. i thought it was irrelevant. i saw it as something to be overcome. instead, i see it now as a sort of foundation. real thinking can't come when you try to pretend your body isn't there.

i feel like i shed a skin when i stopped trying to be spiritual.

i used to have these spiritual feelings as a young person. when i look back, they were times when i allowed myself to really connect to the world through my senses (as opposed to through my mind): walking in a forest, sleeping under a tree, skinny-dipping under the stars, or running at night. i used to love to run at night. the air felt more energizing than during the day. the thing is, now that jesus and i have parted, i still have those spiritual moments. i just don't call them that anymore. i can still feel awe for the incredible nature of nature without trying to imagine a mind to create it.

cuz when i look around
i think this, this is good enough
and i try to laugh
at whatever life brings