monkeys

as part of my preparation for the dreaded job-hunt, i am attempting to be totally honest with myself about my habits. after all, it is likely that i will be in a new place where i will need to form new habits, meet new people, and somehow keep myself afloat until i can build a network. so: am i likely to seek out classes and activities or will i retire to my perseonal living space where the TV might be? am i likely to try to meet people at those activities, or will i be shy and awkward and only meet people when desperation overrules my filter and makes me blurt? can i actually bear the thought of placing my dogs in another home so that i can have a downtown apartment, or will i end up in suburbia or the boondocks simply so that i can keep them with me? am i likely to pour myself into work so i can feel on top of things professionally, or will i continue to set limits on my work? (this question really concerns me, because i feel like i would need to be even more professional and prepared for southern teaching than i am for northern teaching.)

it is a daunting thing to consider yet another new beginning.

progress to date:
researching and filing pertinent information about likely employers
monstrous work of rough drafting cover letter and CV


so how much is it good to allow people into ourselves? how deep should their views and ideas and opinions sink? where does the individual reign supreme, and where does one allow the influence of another person to touch deeply?

i wonder because i live in two extremes. i am capable of insensitively ignoring the opinion of someone that i care deeply about, but i am also prone to losing myself in other people.