illusion

i have been wrong many times. looks like i'm here again.

only two sleeps. as usual, things are winding up into a frenzy before the deadline. somehow i have to get everything done in the next 40 hours. i am nervous about leaving my dogs behind. i wish i had paused for real thought before i adopted them. i never have a free moment because if i'm with them, they are on my mind and if i'm away from them i worry that they are tangled or gotten loose or barking loudly and annoying someone. i think it's why i crave a house of my own so much. if it belonged to me i could rig it permanently to be secure and then i could leave them behind when i leave them behind.

it is always so surreal to leave the north to visit the south. there is a wall between here and there and i can never really remember one place accurately while i'm in the other. when i'm in the air, my mind is already going ahead to my destination.

i am kicking myself for still not having acquired a DSLR camera. i've wasted so many great pictures (in my own opinion, anyway) on my shitty little 3.2 megapixel POS. maybe i'm wrong, but if i had more pixels to work with, wouldn't a regular-sized picture have better resolution (accepting the limits of the monitor or printer or whatever)? because my northern lights pics look great as long as you don't zoom in at all... when you look closer than a thumbnail you can see all the noise. it's annoying.