bionic heart

look at me being proactive and writing before the evening gets out of hand (in a very good way, i hope!)

so i am doing a bit of yoga. i am both better and worse at it than i expected. it helps to have fun people to do it with, although i confess to occasional giggles that i do my best to smother.

it is really interesting how time can change some things so that they are nearly unrecognizable, but other things cannot be mistaken or disguised no matter what time does. one thing i am grateful for is the healing power of passing time. i am thankful that i do continue to grow and mature as a person, no matter how things look from the outside.

for a long time i hid, to try to keep myself safe from the dangers of life. but it is learning to coexist with those dangers that makes life what it is. life is not a nascar race, with the object of doing as many laps as possible on a boring track, as quickly as possible. it's the pitstops and flat tires and dead batteries where the real action happens. if i didn't have a penchant for wandering off track, i would miss so much!

i know i'm being oblique... they are wishy-washy thoughts that i'm having. i'm feeling nostalgic for some of my favourite "mistakes," because most of my mistakes have at least been fun and engaging and interesting! i don't tend to make boring mistakes. i tend to flamboyantly fuck things up. and even while i call certain choices and decisions and detours "mistakes," I know that it would take an awful lot to convince me that i should go back and change things (if such a thing were even possible). this could be part of who i am. i can't imagine how it would feel to be a person who plans things out and whose plans actually turn out.

it is great to sit around with good friends discussing mistakes, big and small, and laughing our asses off.