place time values commitment

what makes friends stay friends? I think the four basic elements of friendship are found in these four words: place, time, value and commitment. basically, we are friends because of one or more of those elements... it's a sort of hierarchy of needs for friendship. we are in the same place at the same time - we share an experience. we share values, or come to value the other, finally we have a sort of commitment to a friend - we are there for them should they need us, and vice versa. but what makes us stay friends? what makes a friendship continue over vast distance or change of lifestyle?

I guess it is some kind of acceptance - not tolerance - and renewed commitment. we like our friends, but let's be honest: there are friends who we tolerate because of mutual benefit as opposed to because of genuine caring. I think you can remain good friends with someone if you are willing to put in time and effort - much like you would if you were still living in the same time zone. if you still express interest and are accepting and supportive of the major and minor changes they make, if you are enthusiastic and make effort to share experiences with them.

I look back at pivotal people in my life - old friends who remain, old friends who are no longer friends, new friends who will either stay or not, I cannot know right now. I am so happy to have met my friends. I hope that one year is enough time to become real friends, and stay friends, even over great distance and difference of lifestyle. There are people with whom I have been friends who had enormous impact on me, but who are now lost in the world. I am not sad that they are gone from me, but I think my life would have been enriched by knowing them longer.

what a sentimental post. but I have beer in my brain, and friends and airplanes on my mind.