con fuoco

less than a month!

sorry i'm slipping off the wagon here... but i'm not the only slacker on the block. this time of year, there's not much to say. end of year is always insane in schools - cramming the last bit of curriculum in, reviewing, creating exams, sorting, cleaning, packing.. plus 24 hour daylight and special events up the wazoo. i wish for warmth and sleep. we are still having near-daily snowstorms. it is cold (-3ish) and usually cloudy because all the melting is putting extra moisture into the atmosphere.

as i prepare for next year, i really search myself to know if i've got enough ME left to do this again. i can finally, after a few years, see how teaching can really become easier and less work with each year. but it's a long process, preparing all your materials, testing your own capacities. it's a high and steep learning curve. you learn a lot quickly, but you keep learning a lot as you go. i can see the difference between me and a beginning teacher, but i can also appreciate the difference between me and someone who has been teaching for 10 or 15 years. teaching is exhausting.

i don't want to diminish what people do in other jobs, but having had a few different jobs, teaching is definitely the most intense workday of anything (besides perhaps camp counselor - that's non-stop). the days that i really feel like i've been a good teacher are usually the days when i also feel run off my feet. i wish there was a bit more compassion for those days when you just don't have it.

where is the miracle cure on tv to increase the good days and decrease the bad? does anyone have a magic wand that i can use to ensure that i can always meet the challenge of a specific day?

hmm.. there was more to say than i had thought.

need a little because, because...
...I've got my own hell to raise