the most dramatic moments in life confuse me. i can never remember the order of events correctly. my memory of my own emotions during the event outweighs the facts of the situation, and i am occasionally forced to try to rebuild the event using my emotions. i think we can guess how reliable that is. also, i panic in the moment and then i do stupid things. i never used to do that. i used to be very reliable in a crisis.
i've been thinking about this because of yesterday's volleyball game after school. i'm decent in back court, even back court middle, because i can see all the other players and i have a second to see what's coming. but put me up by the net and i choke. when you're up by the net, it always seems like someone is coming into your space, and the net is right there and there's a lot of pressure.it's unfortunate. i had some beautiful screw-ups.
i need time to think.
i notice it in the classroom, too. 35 kids calling my name and i hear the stupidest confused sentences coming out of my mouth. how many times a day do i say exactly the opposite word from what i intend? i need more time to think and time to plan. do we lose the ability to improvise as we mature?
fighting gravity and other incontrovertible forces
3 comments:
THAT is an excellent question my friend.
Gettin' ooold.
Think of it as setting the bar, so they'll REALLY appreciate it when you say something brilliant.
ha! thanks! :P
wait until i tell you what happened later that night... oh the irony
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