is love a fancy or a feeling?

is teaching a career or a vocation? why is it such a bad thing to want to be treated like a professional? why is it not enough to love my job, but to have to enshrine it along with mother theresa and florence nightingale? why can't i be allowed to draw a line in the sand and say, I teach, but I am not a Teacher.

i think that a person should be able to perform their absolute minimum professional duties during a standard 8-hr work day. anything beyond that that they choose to do is up to them. currently my 45 minute prep each day allows me to do about a third of what absolutely must be done each day.

i accidently picked a fight about that with marsh. i forget that not everyone enjoys discussing issues of disagreement. but i don't get it - why does disagreement have to be so threatening? anyway, my impression since i began my career (not calling) is that teachers raised and trained in newfoundland are obsessive about their jobs. they'll be in the school until late in the evening, on the weekends, preparing. fine, their choice. but i dislike the negative energy i get when i'm invited to an event at the school on the weekend (like a basketball practise where i could get a killer workout with the kids) because i say that i don't want to be in the school on the weekend. i think i should have the right to guilt-free weekends. i don't want to be a teacher 24/7. i should be allowed to be human. the other thing is that only newfs tell me how to feel. and it pisses me off. balance, people!

i present an approachable friendly face to the students even when i'm experiencing the ass end of tuesday. still, some people expect total positive mood, even in the staffroom. and that's bollocks. i want to know how my friends and workmates are feeling for real, not see their shining teacher-masks. how can we help each other if we're all pretending that everything's A-OK?

hm. i guess i'm a little bit defensive. i work hard. i enjoy most, but not all, of my work, and i resent being told that i'm only doing what is expected. at the end of the day this is a job, not a life-calling. teaching has purpose, but i'm no saint.

ps. i'm doing a weight-lifting regimen these days as well as some cardio and yoga. feels good. i like feeling strong.