overheard

i woke up late due to a lack of sound from my iPod alarm clock. i love the concept of my clock, but it has let me down several times this year. so i didn't have time to dry my hair with a hairdryer and had to let it dry naturally. i have to say, my hair looked good today. it waved really nicely. i was told it was "brazen." i wish whoever said that would pick up a fucking dictionary. i mean, yes, i suppose my hair often is "marked by a contemptuous boldness," but dark auburn is more respectful than green a yellow stripes i think.

anyway, enough about my hair.

we started pottery today, even though my right wrist is in a tensor bandage. why? because i have tendonitis. how did i get tendonitis? well, i don't really know, but i'm guessing it arose from an injury sustained lugging huge and heavy amounts of baggage around the ottawa airport. it hurt so badly on monday night and tuesday that i actually became concerned that i had somehow fractured it. but i didn't.

you know something? i had the really awkward experience this week of being in need of someone's help, and i didn't want to ask them because there's this not fun history between us. but, i gathered my guts or let my balls drop or summoned up the nerve, or whatever, and asked for help. and i was refused. i was embarrassed, especially since the thing that caused the problem between us was the other person's fault, i guess that's life.

you know something else? when i was about 19 or 20, i did a personality test. i think it was called true colours. there are four colours representing what has influence over you... really simplified, orange is adventure, blue is feelings, green is reason, and gold is structure. back when i was 20, i was 50% orange, and 25% each blue and green. negligible gold. i've come to appreciate structure and how it can help to avoid negative interactions. i guess if i re-took the test now, i'd have different scores. the deep question is: would i simply be giving a more clear and honest picture of myself, or would i be showing that i've actually had a personality change? i've never totally resolved about the nature of personality: is it the enduring nature of a person that can appear different because of changing life situations? or does a person's nature actually change as they mature?